I’ll let you in on a personal secret of mine: This is really one of my most hated questions to be asked. Passing in the hallway, in the kitchen, or even while in the John together. No, I don’t want to discuss your email and prolong my stay in the bathroom with you. Really, I don’t. Whatever could possibly be in that email does not need to be discussed while standing over a urinal.

Now that you’ve asked me if I’ve gotten it, I probably don’t want to read it anymore. What’s the point? It’s like you’ve already unwrapped the present for me. The surprise is ruined.

some common phrases

• “Did you get that email I just sent you?”
• “Did you get my email?”
• “Hey did you see that email from Sue?”
• *phone rings* “I just sent you an email.”

My favorite is the two-timing double-whammy email-with-phone-call-followup. For some reason, it’s necessary to click the send button while simultaneously calling me, only to ask if I’ve received your email yet. What you really mean when you ask is, “Did you read my email?” The answer is no, I haven’t, or I obviously would have replied to you… maybe. Email offers such an effective way to remain impersonal. If I don’t want to deal with you, then I simply delete your email. Gone, poof, as if the problem has rectified itself.

I often find myself writing an email to people down the hall from me. And when I’m done writing, I plan to walk to the kitchen, whereby I’ll pass their desks, and probably ask, “did you get my email?” That’s when I stop writing, and go walking. Human interaction: There’s still something to be had with it.

No, I didn’t get your email.